Need an alternative to toilet paper? Try these plants that you can grow in your yard

Theme gardens appeal to people because of a unifying purpose or historical/literary association. Some will plant a garden of fragrance because of their desire to be surrounded by pleasant scents. Others will plant an apothecary garden filled with herbs of medicinal value. Shakespeare gardens are confined to the 175 plants mentioned in Shakespeare’s works while Biblical gardens restrict themselves to the 125 plant species mentioned in the Bible.

Given the current coronavirus crisis and the shortage of one vital commodity, I thought it might be appropriate to discuss the “bathroom tissue alternative” garden, consisting of species whose leaves were used — and, in some locales are still used today — for a particular function.

Bathroom tissue was invented by an American, Joseph Gayetty, in 1857. Gayetty’s product consisted of sheets made from the foliage of Musa textilis, a plant in the banana family, lubricated with aloe sap. You could probably make a similar product today out of Southern California garden fare since several types of ornamental — and some edible — bananas can be grown here as well as a plethora of aloe species and varieties, 203 of which are listed in the San Marcos Growers catalogue (smgrowers.com).

Probably the most inviting bathroom tissue alternative is lamb’s ears (Stachys byzantina), native to Turkey, Armenia, and Iran. The thick and furry leaves of this species are without compare in the botanical kingdom. The plant is cold hardy, drought tolerant, and has a clumping growth habit that lends itself to propagation, a practice that is recommended since individual plants do not persist for more than a few years.

The problem with lamb’s ears is that the center of the clumps is sensitive to rot from late rains such as we have experienced this year and once the center begins to die the entire clump is in danger. However, by detaching outer pieces of the clumps and planting them throughout the garden, you will always have a ready supply of lamb’s ears.

The species demands well-drained soil and you need to exercise caution in keeping overhead irrigation away since water touching leaves in warm weather will inevitably lead to fungus infection. Soaker hoses, a drip system, or the controlled application of water around the base of the plant from a hose attachment should be utilized. Finally, the species can handle full sun on the coast but benefits from afternoon sun protection in our inland valleys, growing especially well in the high shade of mature trees.

A fuzzy to furry leafed plant that shares lamb’s ear cultural requirements is mullein (Verbascum species). Leaves are gray and on some species reach up to 18 inches in length. Flowers are typically yellow but on some Verbascum hybrids may also be white, cream, pink, or purple. Some mulleins are weedy and their distribution is worldwide. They have long been the tissue of choice for cowboys herding cattle out on the range.

Cheeseweed (Malva parviflora) can also be used an alternative to bath tissue. (Photo by Joshua Siskin)

Speaking of weeds, an ubiquitous garden interloper known as cheeseweed (Malva parviflora) is another famous bathroom tissue alternative. Its leaves bear a strong resemblance to those you see on common geraniums. The foliage of a California native tree mallow (Malva assurgentiflora) may be used for a similar purpose. The plant makes a wonderful informal hedge, growing to a height of 12 feet while its maple leaf shaped leaves may reach five inches in length and its rose-lavender flowers are in bloom virtually throughout the year.

When it comes to shade tolerant plants with large, soft leaves, the one that comes immediately to mind is velvet groundsel (Roldana petasitis). The leaves are velvety works of art, fan-shaped and gently lobed, and grow to a length and width of eight inches. A member of the daisy family, the plant produces large clusters of small yellow daisies in addition to its irresistible foliar texture.

Leaves of the peppermint geranium have a strong peppermint fragrance and grow beyond six inches in width with bunches of white flowers this time of year. (Photo by Joshua Siskin)

One other fuzzy-leafed plant worth consideration in this discussion is peppermint geranium (Pelargonium tomentosum). It is a ground cover for full sun to light shade and grows rampantly with a bare minimum of water. Leaves have a strong peppermint fragrance and grow beyond six inches in width with bunches of white flowers this time of year.

If you are growing cauliflower or broccoli, you are certainly welcome to take advantage of their giant leaves for this purpose, as well as grape leaves that had this function in ancient Greece. The large triangular leaves of cottonwood and poplar trees are also pertinent in this regard as are corn husks.

On another subject, dogs have been trained to detect viruses in plum trees since such trees give off a distinct odor that you and I cannot smell but our canine friends can.  This same strategy is now being employed to train Medical Detection Dogs, a British charitable organization, to sniff out the coronavirus. The dogs have already been trained to detect individuals with diseases such as malaria, Parkinson’s, and cancer.

Apple and other fruit trees are susceptible during wet springs to the bacteria that causes fire bight, a disease characterized by scorched shoots. (Photo by Joshua Siskin)

Tip of the Week: These late rains have been a boon to California’s farmers in some respects but have been hazardous to spring flowering fruit trees whose blooms are killed by fungi and bacteria that come to life in wet spring weather. Many of my apple tree blossoms and the adjoining shoots have been killed by a bacteria that is responsible for fire blight, the name of a disease characterized by scorched shoots. Bacteria enter the tree through nectaries located at the base of flower petals, which also serve as the source of nectar used by bees for making honey. This disease only strikes plants in the rose family, especially ornamental pear trees and pyracantha shrubs but edible pear and apple trees are susceptible as well. When detaching the burnt shoots, make sure to dip your pruning shears in disinfectant such as rubbing alcohol between cuts in order not to spread the disease. Cuts should be made into healthy tissue that is at least 12 inches away from the nearest burnt portions of the shoots.

You are invited to send questions, comments, and photos to joshua@perfectplants.com.


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